Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Wrapping Up 2008

It's almost time to say goodbye to 2008 and file it behind us. It's been an amazing year in many ways, and also a sucky year in many ways. Many things have happened this year, some of them good and some of them were not quite so good. This is just a partial list based on what came to my mind when I originally wrote the post.

  • I started this blog, much to the joy of people everywhere! Pretty soon, this blog will be compulsory reading in college classes around the world, and there have been talks of a Lifetime TV movie. I guess I'd better bring the level of writing up a notch or two. When my blog writings are compiled into leather-bound volumes, I'll let posterity decide whether this was a good thing or something that never should have happened.
  • I reconnected with two of my dearest friends from high school, Cristy and Francie. I had just temporarily lost touch with Cristy (we can always pick up right where we left off), but I hadn't talked to Francie in about 18 years. This was such a joy for me. And I got to see Cristy, Daniel, and the kids at Thanksgiving!
  • I've kept in touch with Robin Box (Bray), whom I've known since first grade. She looked out for me then and she's still looking out for me now. She's such a loving and giving person.
  • I'm still gainfully employed at RadioShack. Let's hope that trend continues while I finish my master's degree!
  • My family is still in good health and good spirits. Mom is still full of vim and vigor, and is keeping it real out in the Settlement. Give her a big shout-out, yo!
  • My dad can finally hear what he has been missing for the past 20 years, since he now has hearing aids! Give him a big shout-out, yo... but do it in a normal tone of voice since he can hear you better now.
  • My cousin Mike and his wife Debbie just bought a house in Fort Worth, and we all went there for a fantastic Christmas Day hootenanny. My uncle Charles and my aunt Debbie (not the same Debbie as my cousin's wife - we're not that liberal of a family) also moved into a new house in River Oaks, and we all went over there for Thanksgiving.
  • I have successfully completed two more semesters of graduate school, and I'm marching onwards towards graduation. Hopefully there are just two more semesters to go, provided that all of the classes I need are available. If I have to do "filler" classes to remain part-time in school, I'll look into interpretive dance classes or something.
  • We now have Barack Obama in the White House, and he seems to be trying to boost the economy and try to bring the country together, if that is at all possible. I don't remember a President-Elect diving in and getting busy as early as he has done.
  • A gay marriage ban was overturned in Connecticut.

Now, for the bad...

  • The saddest news from me this year is the end of my relationship with Jeff. In some ways, I never thought it would have ever happened, yet it happened so quickly. We had almost nine years together of good times and bad times, and I know that I am a richer person today for having known him and loved him.
  • We had to say goodbye to our dear cat Nicholas Longsworth at the end of April. Nicky was such a special kitty, and his passing still brings tears to my eyes. We grieved terribly over his death (he had to be put to sleep - he had FIP and was no longer eating or drinking) and I cannot bring myself to adopt other kitties yet. I had him for twelve wonderful years. Without a doubt, he was the most loving kitty I have ever known. He and Jeff were best buds and often took naps together.
  • We all had to share the burden of the economy this year. Higher gas prices meant higher prices for everything, so we all had to save our pennies where we could. A silver lining here was that people actually began reducing their demand for gas, which ultimately helped drive down the cost.
  • More economic woes: So many people have lost their jobs, and so many companies have had to close. The parent company for Bennigan's closed all of the restaurants very quickly, giving their employees very little notice, and some of the final paychecks actually bounced. More companies may end up closing after the first of the year.
  • Constitutional bans on gay marriage passed in several states, most notably in California. The Attorney General in California feels that the constitutional ban is itself against California's constitution, and therefore should be voided.
  • In Arkansas, it is no longer legal for gay people to adopt children. Actually, the ban is specifically for unmarried couples, so it actually affects heterosexuals too, but it was targeted at gay couples. This is truly sad, considering there are so many children who need loving homes.
  • We have had so many deaths of famous people this year. Here's a link to a slide show.
If I keep focusing on the bad, I'm going to get depressed, so I'll end now.

I don't have any specific New Year's Eve plans this year, and I don't think anyone does at our place. We're probably just going to hang out and order pizza or something. But wherever you end up spending your New Year's Eve, I hope you ring in 2009 with excitement and anticipation. And I send you all warm Happy New Year's hugs.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Happy Holidays!

This is a bit late in the day, but I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas this year. I know that the economy is tight and the future (as always) is uncertain, but I do hope that everyone who could put aside their anxieties and cherish this day with family, friends, and loved ones was able to do so.

We did not put up a Christmas tree this year. None of us were particularly in the Christmas spirit, for understandable reasons, but I was lucky enough to be able to spend Christmas Eve with very dear, close friends and spend Christmas Day with my family. That made it a nice Christmas for me.

Happy Holidays, everyone!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Michael Bublé

Anyone who knows me knows that my taste in music tends to run to standards and show tunes, especially if they are set to swinging big band arrangements. Ella Fitzgerald is a goddess as far as I'm concerned, and one of the top vocalists we have ever had. But I made a very pleasant discovery a year or so ago when I found Michael Bublé on iTunes. And I've been a raving fan ever since. If you see me at work with my iPod on, chances are that I'm listening to Michael Bublé. I've been in that kind of mood lately. Especially his latest album -- Call Me Irresponsible -- because it does have such a deep, romantic feel to it.

I found this clip of him singing a terrific song from his latest album. Enjoy I've Got The World on a String.

Being a Work in Progress

Our roommate and I had a nice chat tonight. It was a deep discussion about how we're all works in progress. She brought up the point that so many of us are inculcated with what our lives should ideally be like, and sometimes we spend much of our lives trying to live up to that ideal instead of deciding for ourselves what we want and who we want to be. That ideal comes from family, from friends, from society in general, and I wonder who decided what the ideal was. We also delved further into forming our own opinions and setting our own values. So much of that comes from our parents. We were encouraged -- somewhat -- to think for ourselves, but we were often told how to believe. Sometimes that is good, and sometimes that is bad. Most prejudices and negative biases are learned at home, unfortunately.

And somewhere along the way, I picked up the now-it-seems-foolhardy notion that what I wanted in life really wasn't all that important. I do have issues with self-esteem -- I always have -- and I can slice myself to ribbons worse than anyone else can. I do think I'm getting better about avoiding this harmful way of thinking, though. I do deserve happiness, and I do deserve to go after what I want in life. And if I don't reach my dream, I'll grow in trying, or I'll find something else to be happy about along the way.

Leah was shocked to learn that I had never lived for any significant amount of time on my own. I graduated from TWU in 1993, and I started dating my first partner just a few weeks afterwards. We dated for several months, and I moved out of my parents' home into his home in April of 1994. Steven and I were together for about six and a half years, and he broke up with me in November of 1999. Outside of a short, but intense, relationship that lasted about a month, I was single for about three months before I met Jeff in March of 2000. Jeff and I broke up at the end of November, 2008.

So, I need some time living alone, and I need to find out who this Scott Lindsey person is and find out what he wants out of life. I'm a work in progress, that's for sure, and I think we all are to some degree. Life is a journey.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Reflections on Being Single

Based on my own choice (or choices), I am single again at the age of 38. I ended an eight and a half year relationship that seemed to all outsiders to be completely fulfilling and happy. Many people have been hurt, and many people are still in shock about what has happened. I think I'm still somewhat in shock myself, but the decision has been made and it's time to start soldiering onward. I am technically single, yet I'm not looking for any kind of romantic attachments just yet. I can't even say that I'm even in the mood for a raunchy one-night-stand. It's far too soon.

I do know that I want another long-term relationship, and I want to put a lot of work and effort into finding just the right guy because I do not want to go through all of this pain again if I can possibly avoid it. If I could wave a magic wand (no puns, please) and have things go Scott's way, this relationship would be my last one, and it would be for life.

I am committed to this lease until the end of September, so until then, Jeff, Leah, and I are living in odd quarters. Hopefully this situation will improve over time. Leah and I have no issues; Jeff and I have our occasionally tense moments. When the lease is up, chances are that I will move back to the Dallas/Fort Worth area proper. The mid-cities or Fort Worth is a more likely prospect than Dallas, but who knows what will happen between now and September? I still have a good paying job at RadioShack and I have a lot of debt to pay off. Kind of hard to find a boyfriend when you're financially strapped, so I probably won't really be looking for one for some time.

Life will be lonely at times, being single, but I have to go through the process because I have to be absolutely comfortable with who I am. I probably do have some self-esteem issues; most of us do. Maybe I should talk to a therapist at some point so I can refocus myself. My last session with a therapist worked wonders for me. I may look into that after the beginning of the year. My insurance does cover it. I think I can get 36 visits in a year, or something like that. There is also still a lot of reflecting to be done, and I want to make other changes too. When I get over this icky cold, I want to get back on an exercise routine. I also want to make more time for friends and family I have let hang on the periphery of my life far too long.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Colds are Icky

And owls are assholes - what's your point?

I think someone at work has given me a cold, and I have a pretty good idea who did it. The irony is that this same person was complaining that someone else came to work and gave him the cold, when that person should have stayed at home. Which is what I did today. I crawled out of bed, called in to work, downed two Benadryls and two Advils, and crawled back under the covers until about 4:30 pm. I felt a little better after taking a shower, but I'm still feeling pretty miserable. My sinuses feel like they're on fire. Right now, I'm sipping orange juice and ticking the time away until my next dose of NyQuil. I think NyQuil is some of the best stuff in the world. Personally, I prefer the cherry flavor, but all I have is that noxious green liquid that belongs squarely in that "if it tastes this rotten, it must be good for you" category. But it works, and that's the main thing. I know someone who swears that NyQuil is really just green vodka.

It depends on how I feel tomorrow morning if I end up going to work or not. I really don't want to make anyone sick at work, especially if they're going on vacation soon to be with their families for Christmas. I see myself as doing a favor for the community if I do end up staying at home.

I did have a little bit of fun today. I've just about finished the last Janet Evanovich novel that our roommate lent me. She's plowing through my Sue Graftons, but it's slightly uneven. She's on the last Sue Grafton book (T is for Trespass) while I have some more Janet Evanovich novels to read. I will say that the Janet Evanovich books are delightful and full of sassy charm. I also played the new Internet game, Sock and Awe, where you can throw shoes at President Bush. He's a quick little rabbit. I managed to hit him just a few times.

I hope everyone is set for a nice weekend! It's going to be warm here in D/FW, so I should probably get out and let the sun dry up this nasty cold.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Great News!

I got A's in both my classes, so I still have a 4.o GPA in grad school!

Of course, I'm getting my degree in something I do every day, so I may have an unfair advantage, but it still sounds good, doesn't it? I'm happy about it.

Monday, December 15, 2008

Reflecting Time

I apologize to my loyal blog readers for going dark for a while. I still can't blog about the personal things that have happened between Jeff and me. Our friends and family know all about it, and I don't know that I need to say much more about that here on the blog. School is mercifully OVER OVER OVER until January, and I have some prime time here to catch up on rest and reflect on what has happened and what should happen next. I'll have some time off the week of Christmas to think things over.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Finally!

I think the Fall semester is finally over! I believe I have completed all of the final requirements for my instructional design class. I'll find out what my final grade later this weekend. I'll be happy with whatever I get, frankly. These last few weeks have been utter turmoil at home, for reasons that my friends all know, but I've somehow managed to keep at least a fingerhold on my scholastic career and finish my work. Whew! I'll be so relieved when the final grades come out because then it is officially over. I can officially file Fall 2008 as done and move on to the Spring semester.

Now, I can focus on getting ready for Christmas and enjoying some time off from work and from school. Right now, I really have a lot of personal reflecting to do to see how I'm going to move forward with my altered personal life. I definitely need some Scott time to think, to plan, and hopefully, to understand. All of my friends (and my mom, who checks in with me daily) are counseling me to do this, and it's advice that I'm going to heed. I'm looking forward also to playing major catch-up with sleep, reading, and having fun in general.

Tonight, I'm going to a Christmas party, and I'm spending the day tomorrow with my dear friend Karen who is going to urge me to look at corners of my life that all too often remain in the shadows. It will be a very good thing. I may come home completely wiped out, but it will be a very good thing. I also have some vacation time scheduled the week of Christmas.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Anonymous Rudeness

I checked my blog and recently saw a comment that had words to this effect:
"What twaddle! You are obviously free from intellectual distractions."
I'm not sure who made this post, since they did not bother leaving a name. I do have a bone to pick with this person, since their comment inferred that I am some kind of frivolous nitwit. While I do have a fun-loving, frivolous nature, and it is far too easy for me to lapse into outright silliness, I do not consider myself to be an intellectual lightweight. And I think that anyone who knows me would agree.

This blog is not meant to be an intellectual treatise; nor is it a platform for me to expound my beliefs about current affairs. If I choose to do so, I will. This blog exists for a simple reason: it's my way of having fun and sharing my life with others. This is my place for posting pictures, video clips, and generally having fun being a contributor to the vast expanse of content that is the World Wide Web.

Now, if this anonymous poster had disagreed with a view of mine, that's an entirely different matter. I don't mind that, since I know that I'm not always right. Not to get too mystical about it, but I am a Gemini, and I can easily see two (or three or four) sides to every situation, and you just might convert me to your point of view.

But just to leave a nasty anonymous comment and leave? That's just rude!

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Parade of Lights 2008

Tonight, Jeff and I went to the annual Fort Worth Parade of Lights. This parade, a tradition for almost 30 years, is always held the day after Thanksgiving and culminates in the lighting of the big Christmas Tree downtown. We had planned to meet my friend Francie, who had flown in from Georgia for Thanksgiving, but I wasn't able to reach her via cellphone to let her know where we were in the huge crowd. Anyway, we stayed for the whole parade, and it was nice to be downtown. Once we found a parking space (we paid $10 for it) and walked a short distance to the parade route, we had a pretty good view of what was going on. One thing the parade did teach me is that I can seriously suck as a digital photographer. Very few of the photos actually turned out okay. My camera has face recognition technology, so I got a lot of clear images of the backs of people's heads and blurry pictures of floats. Night time shots aren't my specialty either, so obviously I have some practicing to do.

After the parade, Jeff and I headed uptown towards the Stockyards to El Rancho Grande for some seriously good Mexican food. It was just the ticket after all the turkey and dressing from yesterday. I may be reaching for the Tagamet now, but I enjoyed my beef enchiladas with chili con carne!

Anyway, here's what I was able to capture. I hope you enjoy them!

Jeff at the parade. I got him to smile for a nice picture for once. :)

This was a cool float from the school of Performing Arts, I think. Performing Arts was in the name somewhere -- that's all I remember.

The float from Wells Fargo. I think my credit card bill helped fund it.

I don't remember whose float this was, but the picture turned out halfway decently, so I kept it.


This float was from a series of classic cars all decked out in lights.


Finally, the big Christmas Tree was lit about 10 minutes ahead of schedule. This tree is in Sundance Square on Main Street and will remain there through Christmas. Drivers will need to find an alternate route.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Moving Towards the Sunset

Last night, Jeff and I went on an adventure. We planned to meet my dear friend Cristy, her husband Daniel, their three kids, Cristy's four nieces, Cristy's mother Mary, and Mary's husband Jessie out at their new country place in Sunset, Texas. Between Mary's directions and Google Maps, we managed to get there in the dark! Sunset is about 67 miles northwest of Lewisville and is a tiny, tiny little country town with dirt roads and very little in the way of nighttime illumination. We did spend more of our time on dirt roads than I had anticipated, and our black car is almost white now. Fortunately, it's supposed to rain tomorrow, so maybe some of the dirt will get washed away. But we did make it with a carload of pizza and soda and had a delightful evening. We laughed, reminisced, told stories on people we knew, and had a ton of fun.

When we got there, the first thing we noticed was the silence. You didn't hear a thing except the drone of a water pump and the occasional cow rustling through the grass. Our host came out to greet us with a flashlight so we could safely make it to the house. It was that dark! When we left around 2:00 AM, Cristy and Daniel walked us back out with the flashlight. We marveled at the stars. I couldn't remember when I had last seen so many stars. Yet over the hill, I could see the flashing lights of a cellular telephone tower. So, technology still wasn't all that far away. Daniel made some howling noises and got an entire pack of coyotes barking. They sounded pretty close by, but at least the sound wasn't getting any nearer to us.

We got home around 3:30 AM and staggered into bed. And then we got up in time to go have Thanksgiving lunch at my aunt and uncle's house.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

All Right!

Technorati Profile

This is my claim for Technorati!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Weekend Update

Alas, another week is upon us.

We had nationwide protests this weekend in cities all over the United States (and in other parts of the world) protesting the passage of Proposition 8 in California. We did not make it to the Dallas rally as I had hoped. I got my times mixed up and before I knew it, we had completely missed it. For the next protest, I'll be more on the ball. The Dallas turnout had about 1,000 people show up, which was one of the largest LGBT rallies since back in the 1980s. I'll be on the lookout for the next protest; I've told Jeff I want to go to the next one. I hope our parents aren't surprised to see us on the news. :) I'll keep my ears to the ground about the next one. Jeff said that there was an informal gathering on campus that loudly debated gay marriage. A well-dressed woman walked by and said, "Well, of course gay marriage didn't pass. It goes against tradition." A young guy with multiple piercings looked at her and said, "Well, if we're going for traditions, shouldn't you be at home instead of being on a college campus?" I don't think her response was recorded for posterity.

The weather is lovely now, and Jeff and I actually ventured out of the house to have a nice lunch on Saturday and run some errands. We had company Saturday night. The assistant manager (who helped us get this fabulous apartment with a lake view) is moving to Chicago, so we had her over for a final home-cooked meal. We'll miss Amanda terribly and we wish her the best of luck in the Windy City.

School is a bit trying right now. We're trying to do a group project, but it's splitting into factions, making a difficult project even more difficult. I'm one of the project managers and my main responsibility seems to involve running interference between our groups and the instructor, so I've sent off a desperate email for clarification and direction. My other class is relatively trouble-free; I just have to keep up with weekly postings and finish my final paper by Dec 12.

I've got to work out tomorrow. I'm already losing some muscle tone in my arms, and I had just gotten some of it back! We have a pretty decent little gym here at the apartment. I've used it several times and I'm always by myself, so it's nice and peaceful. Last time, I was really butch and watched the football game while I pumped some iron. So, after work, it's gym time for me. And it's good to go there to work out, since I can focus on it. When I work out at home, I get distracted too easily.

Next week is Thanksgiving, thank goodness, and with that comes some much, much, much needed time off from work. I will be off on Tuesday and Wednesday, and the corporate office is closed on Friday, so I'll have a nice six-day weekend. We will be seeing Cristy at some point over the holiday (we've tentatively agreed on Tuesday) and I may see Francie at the Friday night Parade of Lights in Fort Worth. Thanksgiving day, we will be at my aunt and uncle's house in River Oaks, stuffing ourselves silly.

And once we get back from Thanksgiving, we will have just two weeks left in the fall semester!

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Fall Shots




Ah, fall! The weather has turned a bit crisp here in Texas this weekend, with highs in the very low 60s. I felt inspired to go out and capture these shots from our balcony. We live on something that is a cross between a lake and a pond, so I don't know what you would call that. A tarn? Anyway, we've had a noisy flock of geese land in our body of water and when we have the windows open, we hear them honking at each other and skimming across the water. No geese in these pics, unfortunately, but I'll get some soon.

Have a great day! :)

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Going Slap Happy

Here's another story, from 2003. I hope you like it.

Going Slap Happy

Driving to work last week, I witnessed one of the most peculiar sights I had ever seen. I rarely drive more than 10 miles over the speed limit, and I slow it down a bit in my local community because our police officers hand out the speeding tickets left and right. I was driving on a residential road that was a 45-mph zone, so I was cruising around 52 when I noticed a silver Ford Mustang convertible in my rear-view mirror. She had quickly changed from a shiny blip in the distance to an angry aggressive driver right on my rear bumper. With an angry grimace, she abruptly switched lanes and passed me on the left, throwing me an angry look and the middle finger.

“What an asshole,” I thought, and returned to my driving.

However, when she made this abrupt lane change, she cut off a driver in a Lincoln Continental. He roared his V-8 engine to life and caught up with her fairly quickly. Since I had picked up some speed, I was fairly close to the driver of the Mustang and was startled to see the Lincoln Continental abruptly swerve in front of her, squeal on his brakes, and jump out of his car. I hit my brakes quickly too so I wouldn’t run into the car, and I wondered if I might need to stick around as a witness. The man looked to be in his early sixties and he was royally pissed. The girl tried to back up the car but she was sandwiched in, and she quickly put on an angry front.

“What the hell do you want, old man?”

His face red with anger, he stomped around to her door. As a point of note, I must tell you that the convertible top was down and she didn’t have time to raise it.

“You stupid bitch – you cut me off! What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Look, asshole, I’m in a hurry. Now get away from me!”

I knew this was about to get very ugly, so I reached for my cell phone. Privately, I wished he would really tell her off, since I really hate drivers who are dangerously aggressive and always in far too much of a hurry. No wonder our insurance rates are so high. I didn’t like the look of the situation brewing in front of me… but I was curious to see what would happen next. Fortunately, neither of them saw me at first. I eased down my window.

“I’m not going to take this from you!” And much to my startled surprise – not to mention that of the girl in the car – he drew back his hand and slapped her soundly on the left side of the face. Her blond head swiveled sharply to one side and she let out a sharp yelp. She then spun back around and started screaming at him.

“You bastard – I’m going to sue your ass! You can’t get away with this! See this – I’m calling the cops!”

He smiled at her.

“Oh, but yes. See this?” He held up a small card.

She looked at it and groaned. “Don’t tell me you have one of those. This is so unfair.”

“No one ever said that life is fair, Toots. Now hurry up and get the cops on the phone so I can cash in this card and we can both get on our way.”

“Do I have to stay?” She was plaintive now. “I really need to get going and I really don’t want a ticket.”

“Well…” His voice trailed off. He looked up for the first time and saw me.

“You there!” I thought he was going to slap me next, so I quickly rolled up the window. He rushed over to me.

“No, I’m not going to hit you. If you’re not in a hurry, I’d appreciate your staying. I take it you saw the whole thing.”

The girl took a chance and gunned her engine, leaving us in a cloud of dust. I rolled down my window.

“No problem – I was late a long time ago. Sorry to pry, but I had to see what was going to happen. What kind of card is that?”

He showed it to me. It was a small laminated card with the words, “YOU’VE EARNED A FREE SLAP” printed across the top. I had never seen one of these before nor heard of the program. I asked him for more details.

“I’m not sure how you get them. It’s for doing good deeds, I guess. I turned in a wallet at WalMart and I got it in the mail within a few days. It’s a new pilot program to see if they can curb the rudeness of society. At least, that’s what the letter said. Here – I have it in my wallet if you’d like to read it.” Eagerly, I took the wrinkled and creased piece of paper from his hand. Here’s what it said:

July 2, 2003

Mr. (name deleted to protect the innocent)
9999 Something
Anytown, TX 00000

Dear Mr. (name deleted):

Because of your good deed, the store manager at Wal-Mart
recommended you for the “Free Slap” program. This card
entitles you to one free slap. There are some rules:

• You may not slap anyone over 70 or younger than 12 years of age.
• You are only allowed one slap, so make it count. Severe damage may not be caused, so don’t slap too hard.
• You must administer the slap in public so witnesses can verify your actions.
• If police and/or security guards approach, you must surrender the card immediately.
• This card does not expire.
• The slapping can only take place within the city boundaries of (name deleted to protect the innocent).
• Violation of any of these rules will result in arrest, fines, and possible jail time.
• You must slap because of an injustice or rude treatment. You can’t just slap someone based on appearance, race, religion, sexual orientation, or build.

We hope you enjoy your “Free Slap” card and use it appropriately. This program is a new program instituted by the city of (name deleted to protect the innocent) to curb the general rudeness and inconsiderate nature of today’s society.

Happy slapping!

Warmest regards,

(Name deleted to protect the innocent)
WalMart SuperCenter
9999 Something
Anytown, TX 00000


Noticing that I was still holding my cellphone, I called the police and told them that I had witnessed a slap. Since I was kind enough to take time out of my day and help the city with this program, I was given the man’s “free slap” card. The officer took my personal information and notated it on a pad, along with the card’s number. I asked the officer if he had noticed a rise in courtesy and politeness, and he said that he had seen some isolated spots where things were getting “a little nicer,” but everyone else was still pretty crabby.

I drove on to work with my “Free Slap” card and my letter tucked into my wallet. I told my boss because I had to explain why I was late, and she was astonished that such a program existed. I took a lot of ribbing about it at our staff meeting. “Don’t disagree with Scott – he’ll slap you and it’s legal.”

In a way, I felt empowered. I’m usually a very nice person and I usually let the typical rudeness of society roll off my back. However, I now felt confident enough to deal with any rude store clerk or person-at-large because I could now do something about it. My partner was dumbfounded and convinced that I would never use it. He said as much to our friends.

Well, now the gauntlet had been thrown. Sometime in the near future, someone was going to get a good slap.

Over the next few days, I saw more than my usual share of slapping. It almost looked like a Three Stooges reunion. I don’t know where these cards came from, but people were slapping each other left and right. I was in the grocery store one night and the checker accidentally entered the wrong code for zucchini for the sweet elderly woman in front of me. Her face suddenly darkened as she spit out, “That’s not the correct price!” Before I could do anything, she reached up and smacked the poor guy, tossed her card at the security guard who immediately approached, and huffed out of the store. The guy was still stunned when he asked me for my Rewards card. He had to smile as he said that he got to use his “Free Slap” card the day before when a customer got irate because he wouldn’t triple her coupons. “Sometimes, people overreact, but I’m glad she was older and didn’t hit me too hard.” I went through the Taco Bell drive-through recently with a close friend and after we got home to eat, she discovered they had forgotten her Burrito Supreme. She herded us all back into the car and drove us back to Taco Bell toot sweet. She marched up to the drive-through window and the clerk leaned out just in time to get a hearty smack. My friend got her Burrito Supreme right away. An off-duty police officer took care of the slap card details.

Naturally, this program made some headlines. I read endless editorials and heard newscasters issuing reports where slappings had taken place, and the mayor was considering stopping the program. (Rumor had it that he had been slapped at an out-of-control City Council meeting.) Our fair city had gotten the reputation of a wild, lawless town where citizens just slapped each other willy-nilly. However, they also noted that everyone seemed more relaxed. Stress was at an all-time low. I guess you could say that overall reaction to the program was mixed. It seemed like Tough Love for the masses. Teenagers were no longer talking back to their parents in stores, because they never knew who might be packing a “Free Slap” card. Service was always prompt and delivered with a smile. Drivers became more courteous. More people said "Please" and "Thank you." Common courtesy had begun to return to our world.

With all of the unfavorable publicity, I was beginning to think that I would miss out on my chance to slap if the program was canceled. The card was burning a hole in my pocket and my right hand itched. Sure, I received occasionally rude treatment, but nothing that seemed, in my mind, worthy of a slap.

Finally, one afternoon, I had my chance. My partner and I were waiting in a busy line at Sears and the clerk was stranded by herself. The line of customers wound out of the department and the poor girl at the cash register was doing her best to be polite, professional, and efficient. We had been waiting a while and I was surprised to see that no one else approached. The entire store seemed to get swamped at once and the store was obviously not staffed for it. We really had no choice but to wait patiently.

The woman in front of me had her head held high in self-righteous indignation and was starting to mutter under her breath. As a point of note, she appeared to be around 50 years old. She finally turned to me and said, “Can you believe this?” I stared at her blankly and she turned back around in a huff. When she got to the counter, she slammed her hand down on the counter and began giving the poor girl hell for poor service. The girl was apologetic, but the woman wasn’t having any of it.

“I can’t believe this! Why have you taken so long to get to me?”

“Ma’am, I’m very sorry, but we had a big rush and everyone else went to lunch. I’ll help you as soon as I can.” She handed her customer his receipt and gave him a smile as he quickly left.

“This is an outrage. I demand to speak to someone about this NOW.”

“Ma’am, I’m sorry, but the Manager is out right now. I’ll be glad to give you his card if you want to call –"

“No, I want to talk to someone now. If he’s not here, I guess I’ll have to talk to you about it.”

To my surprise, I heard someone’s icy voice call out.

“Madam, I’m sure you heard what she said. Why don’t you just take the card and finish your business so we can go on with ours?” That icy voice was mine, and my partner looked at me in amazement.

She spun around on her heel, her large polyester print dress billowing around her. She stumbled slightly and I thought she was about to fall.

“Why don’t you shut up? I’m going to say what I have to say. Mind your own business!” Small droplets of spittle flew out of her infuriated magenta lips.

Again, my voice called out, strong and clear, and icier than a blue northern wind.

“Why don’t you leave her alone? She’s obviously doing her best and there’s no one else to help her."

“That’s not my problem.”

“It’s our problem, since we’ve all been waiting in line, and you're not making it any easier by making an unpleasant scene.”

Other voices in the crowd began to murmur. I heard an occasional “Yeah, shut the hell up, lady!”
The woman looked at me with narrowed eyes and noticed my partner standing close to me. He had moved closer during the confrontation in case I needed backup. Her face turned from pink to a light shade of purple.

“Ah-ha! I should have known you were one of those no-good fag…" But she didn’t get to finish what I knew she was about to say. Before I knew what had happened, my right hand flew up and struck her hard on her left cheek. The crowd gasped. She did stumble that time. Eagerly, I reached into my wallet and grabbed my “Free Slap” card while the woman sputtered with shock and disbelief while some of the gathering crowd applauded. People started pulling out their free slap cards and I was a bit concerned there would be a riot.

In the meantime, the hapless slappee was now out of control. She had gone from purple to an angry color not known on any color wheel. “I can’t believe you would strike me! Security! Security! You’re in so much trouble, missy.” She was spitting for real now. A security guard stepped out of the gathering crowd and approached us. The woman’s face fell as she got a better look at the card while I handed it over to the guard.

The woman got a bit hysterical, and the security guard escorted her away. I hoped the slap would ultimately do her good. Since we had moved up closer in line, I got a better look at our cashier. It was the same girl who had driven the Silver Mustang last week. She gave us a big smile and gave us tremendous service. We even got some kind of a discount on our purchase.

It’s funny how life can turn on itself, isn’t it?

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Diary of a Queen

***Beware, gentle readers -- long post. I decided to post a story that I wrote several years ago. A friend asked me to write her a story for Christmas one year, and this is what happened. I've always been fascinated with Queen Elizabeth II. Any serious student of royalty will find that I have played a bit loose with some of the facts, but this is a work of fiction, after all. Besides, it's my blog and I'll do what I want! :-)***

For reasons that are too complex to explain at this juncture, I woke up one morning to find myself inhabiting the body and mind (the very essence) of her royal majesty, Queen Elizabeth II. Since I was also essentially myself, I decided to preserve my adventures for posterity, even though no one in their right mind would ever believe my story. I had a grand time as the Queen – no wonder she’s been hanging on to that crown for so long. I would too, if I were in her Prada shoes.

Sunday, December 14 – 7:00 AM, London Time

You won’t believe this. I woke up this morning and immediately felt strange. Well, that you can possibly believe, but this was stranger than I’ve ever felt or thought about being. The bed where I was sleeping was plusher and more luxurious than I was accustomed to, and my partner was no longer sleeping beside me. My first thought was that he had already left for work. A cold, grey morning light filtered through the curtains. My vision was much more blurred than usual, so I decided to roll over and get my glasses so I could see what time it was. This was no easy task, because the bed was huge. I had to roll over at least three or four times before I reached the other side. The glasses weren’t mine at all, but round, plastic-framed things that looked distinctly feminine (and to be quite honest, a bit dowdy). The room was enormous and very richly decorated. Where the hell was I? I looked down at myself. I was a bit plumper than usual. My hands looked a bit old, too. Oh God… what has happened? The bed was high, so I looked down and found a small plush stepstool. I finally reached the carpet and my feet immediately sank in. The room was a bit cold, so I slipped my feet into some pink houseshoes and found a robe thoughtfully laid out on the corner of the bed. Wherever I was, someone was taking really good care of me. I saw a dressing table and a mirror, so I sat down, took a quick look and my mouth fell open in shock. I saw an older woman, probably in her 70s who looked very familiar. My hair was steel grey and sticking up all over the place. As I slowly closed my mouth, I recognized myself. I was Liz herself… better known as Queen Elizabeth II, the titular monarch of England. I had been astrally promoted from a queen to The Queen. “Oh, damn…” I said, but I stopped. The words didn’t come out in my somewhat-Southern accent, but in a round, melodious English accent. I sat there for a few moments with my chin in my hands, not knowing what to do next, when there was a discreet knock at the door. A maid stepped into the room. “Good morning, your Majesty.” She curtsied demurely. I said “Oh, hello…”

Sunday, December 14 – 9:00 AM

What a delight – I’ve just had the most delicious English breakfast, with a full pot of tea. My maid’s name is Janet (fortunately, she introduced herself, since she’s new), and surprisingly, I felt comfortable issuing regal commands in my lovely royal voice. I found myself using the vowel sound “o” as much as possible. At all times, I was gracious and kind. I smiled benevolently at Janet and thanked her for her help when she took the tea dishes away. After tea, I stepped into a hot shower and hit a high note during “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” that would make Ella envious. Honestly, I think I put a small crack in the ceiling plaster. My singing echoed nicely through the royal chambers. I felt a bit guilty looking at myself in the shower, so I kept my eyes averted as I showered with fragrant soap that I would try to find when I was back in the States.

Sunday, December 14 – 1:30 PM

I haven’t had a chance to write until now. The morning has been so busy. Who knew that a Queen was so busy on a Sunday morning? (In America, that’s when most queens are resting after a busy Saturday night, or at least meeting for a lovely brunch around 11:00-ish.) After my shower, I chose a lovely Sunday morning ensemble and tried to make myself look as nice as possible. I’m not used to applying makeup in my personal life, so I’m afraid I looked more like Her Royal Majesty, Betty the Clown. I do want to get a rinse in my hair – that blueish gray look will just have to go. I’ll have to practice with the makeup this evening if I can get a little peace. I was escorted to a church service that was a bit long, but theatrical and ultimately fascinating. I remembered that I had a husband in this new role, so I asked where Philip was. The equerry informed me that HRH would not be joining us this morning, and he would join me for dinner. I was asked if I wanted to go back home (to me, I guess, Buckingham Palace is home) and have lunch or if I wanted to visit with Princess Anne for a late afternoon tea. I decided to go home and had them send my regrets to Annie.

Sunday, December 14 – 4:30 PM

Finally, a chance to rest a bit. I came back, expecting a quiet royal lunch, but instead I had to lunch with some dignitaries. I couldn’t remember their names to save my life, so I just smiled at them. I did recognize Mr. Blair, so I paid a bit more attention to him and his wife Cherie. In fact, I escorted them out and they were a bit puzzled by my hearty good manners and friendliness. When he left, he said, “Goodbye, your Majesty.” Letting the informality of the moment overtake me, I said to him, “Oh, Tony, just call me Queenie” and trilled a high, royal laugh. He looked up in shock, laughed nervously, and bowed. Cherie curtsied and gave me a nervous smile. Lord, I thought, they’ll probably tell the media that I’ve been drinking or something. After they left, I announced that I would be taking a short nap. Since I had no idea where my chambers were, I clapped my hands and crisply asked for someone to escort me. An official looking person agreed, a person who seemed to know my schedule (pronounced shedule, as I came to find out). This person reminded me that I had a dinner appointment with Prince Philip at 8:00. I will now retire for a lovely nap and leave myself plenty of time to practice with the makeup. I caught a glance in the mirror and my makeup had disintegrated. From the looks of it, the Queen had had a hard day indeed and I’m glad there were no photographers present.

Sunday, December 14, 10:00 PM

What a lovely full-course dinner, even though I was unpleasantly surprised to find the beef a bit tough. After all, it wasn’t as though I had ordered it from the Waffle House; this is Buckingham Palace for goodness’ sake. The rest of the meal more than compensated, though.

Philip looked a bit more decrepit than I remembered him in photos, but he still had that twinkle in his eye. I fancy that he was a bit surprised to find me so youthful-looking. My makeup was expertly applied and my hair was set just right. I had chosen a lovely gown that was perhaps a bit more revealing than Liz would normally wear, but I wanted to have some fun. Phil and I chatted amiably and I realized that we were strangers to each other. I didn’t know what to say to him, so I kept it to standard small-talk. He didn’t let on that anything was amiss, so perhaps they don’t talk much. We finished dinner with a lovely dessert, and I then decided to retire. He kissed my cheek and we went our separate ways, since he had some reading to do. After several dry runs, I’ve finally learned the way to my chambers. I’m so tired, I’m going to go to bed as soon as I take my makeup off and finish some light reading.

Monday, December 15, 9:00 AM

I awoke to find myself still inhabiting the body of Queen Elizabeth, so I was excited to think about what adventures I had to face today. I swung my feet out of bed and began my day with another full English breakfast and a hot shower. My assistant arrived and she had my schedule for the week. I remember offhandedly asking her if I had some time to fit in some time with a hairdresser. She said that she would contact Maxine immediately. Fortunately, today is a light day, with a visit to a local school to present an award and then a luncheon with a prominent woman’s group. I would have to make a short speech, but it has been prepared for me. Now… what to wear?

Monday, December 15, 3:00 PM

I apologize for the gap in time, but I just arrived back at the Palace. You know, that little shack that I keep in London?  The school presentation was lovely in a small town just outside of the city, and I’m glad I was the Queen because everyone else seemed to know the perfect protocol. I just had to smile and be gracious. And look stunning, I might add – I found a designer ensemble further back in the closet and it turned out to be perfect. The colors were most flattering. My assistant smiled her approval and said Maxine would be ready for me at 4:00. Anyway, the school presentation -- a young boy was receiving a scholastic award and his eyes shined with tears when I presented it to him. Touched, I took his hand and posed for a picture with him. His parents (I assume that’s who they were) were crying quietly. I told him (my voice never fails to thrill me, but I tried to lower the register a bit so I wouldn’t peel the paint off the ceiling) how proud I was of him and to continue working hard, since he still had a long way to go. Then, amidst a large round of applause, I was whisked away back to London for the luncheon. We were taken to a large hall and my assistant (her name, apparently, is Shirley) handed me my speech. She said that she would introduce me and sit in the crowd. Amidst applause, I took the dais with confidence and read my speech as though it were the greatest piece of oratorical fire that had ever been written. The ladies seemed a bit stunned at my gusto, but laughed at my small jokes. Afterwards, I posed for some photos and was whisked back to the Palace. Oops, there’s Shirley. I’d better get ready for Maxine. I needed to get out of my designer wardrobe and into something simple. But, what does the Queen wear for her hairdresser?

Monday, December 15, 5:30 PM

What began like a nightmare ultimately turned out to be a triumph. I couldn’t make Maxine or Shirley listen to me and I thought I was going to have to throw a royal tantrum. I wanted to soften my look a bit and tone down the steel-gray helmet that the Queen seemed destined to wear. Finally, we settled on a slight trim that took out some of the domed look and a darker rinse to soften the color. The effect was miraculous – I looked at least 10 years younger. I thanked them both and gave Maxine an impulsive hug. She was thrilled and moved to tears. I’ve been making everyone cry today. Ah, the majesty of my position.

Monday, December 15, 9:00 PM

A small, quiet dinner at the Palace seemed made to order after our slightly busy day today. I didn’t think I had the option of taking my dinner upstairs in my chambers (I’d never call this a room), but that’s exactly what they did. Sort of like royal room service, in a way. I plan to take a long hot bath afterwards and slip beneath the covers early.

Tuesday, December 16, 10:30 AM

Apparently, I’m still the Queen, so I’m soldiering on. Shirley came by early this morning after I had finished my breakfast, and said that I had some meetings to attend after lunch. One was to discuss my annual Christmas broadcast to my loyal subjects. Another was to plan my Christmas vacation. I was a bit mystified – did I have to get approval to take a vacation? After all, I am the Queen. But I guess I just can’t log on to Travelocity and point and click to make plane reservations, can I? I’m sure I have a royal something for transport and I have to announce it to the world, which means I won’t have a bit of privacy. (That word sounds lovely in proper English, with a short i sound.) Finally, I have a meeting with one of the members of Parliament. That should be a short meeting, Shirley said. It certainly will be, since I don’t know what in the world we will talk about.

Tuesday, December 16, 3:30 PM

The script for my Christmas broadcast was sent to my chambers, and frankly, I was disappointed. It was far too dry for my tastes. I’d like to make it a bit more informal, so I’ll touch it up here and there. Perhaps I could wind it up with “Merry Christmas, from your ever-loving Liz and Phil.” That might be too informal. The vacation plans were decided quickly enough – I told them that I would love to go to Scotland. My staff asked me if I wanted to go to Balmoral and, not knowing where that is and not wanting to look like a stupid Queen, I said, “Of course.” I then gave a small regal wave that left them all a bit mystified. All the arrangements will be made. If I’m still here by Saturday, I’ll be up to my royal bottom in royal family members for the better part of a fortnight. I just hope someone gets there before we do and lights the furnace, but I’m sure there is someone to take care of that.

Tuesday, December 16, 6:00 PM

I’m not quite sure why, but I’m feeling a bit cranky this evening. I may throw a royal tantrum and see where that gets me. Do people think that heads will roll? They may ship me off to a royal home for the bewildered, so I’d better behave myself. I’m going to a state dinner soon and it will be lovely to show off my new look, but I’d rather stay home. Maybe I’m getting a bit homesick. I miss my partner and my family, but I can’t really call them up without causing a lot of global confusion. Ah, there’s a knock at the door and I’m not quite finished dressing.

Tuesday, December 16, 10:45 PM

Good heavens, I’m exhausted. If I had to smile one more time, I think my royal face would have cracked. Even though I looked stunning and radiated a regal elegance that kept the cameras clicking, I secretly wanted to be at home. Phil escorted me and at one point, held my hand. He caught me looking a bit down and he said “Cheer up, sausage.” I begged his royal pardon and asked him to repeat it. He said “Cheer up, sausage.” Thinking this was some sort of bizarre ritual between the Queen and her consort, I told him to “Lighten up, bratwurst.” He laughed heartily, and then I trilled a high Queen-like laugh that cracked a nearby champagne flute, and the cameras clicked again. Apparently, we don’t laugh much in public. We must not be amused very often. The dinner went on and on; I listened to more speeches, and yet I didn’t really seem to listen, so I can’t tell you what they were about. It’s like I used to do in church growing up. As soon as the pastor would open his mouth, I would start mentally reviewing a book I had recently read, or a favorite movie I had watched on television. By the time the credits rolled or the heroine died, he asked us to pray and we all knew the service was almost over. Anyway, there was no closing prayer for this interminable dinner, but we left shortly after dessert was served and eaten. I met some people, but I’m so terrible with names that I couldn’t tell you who they were. George someone-or-other, and his wife Laura (I think that was her name – she looked nice, but I’m afraid I outshone her). He bored me to tears during his speech and I didn’t want to talk to him anymore, but he was very insistent. Trying to maintain my regal poise was difficult, but I smiled and thanked him for coming to England when I finally managed to wriggle away. Again, I got that blank look… they must think the Queen is dotty.

After we got back to the Palace, Phil kissed me on the cheek and I went upstairs to get ready for bed. I’m having some delicious decaf tea as I write these notes. To be honest, even though I’m living in the lap of luxury, I’d rather be home and be myself again. We’ll see what tomorrow brings.

Wednesday, December 17, 10:30 AM

A sharp beeping sound awoke me at 6:00 this morning. I found myself in a very familiar bed, with a very familiar person snoring beside me. The alarm kept going and going, and finally I jumped out of bed to silence it. I couldn’t make out much of the room in the semi-darkness, so I flipped on the overhead light. My partner squinted up at me, irritated that I had blinded him, and said okay, okay, he was getting up. I was back home! I got up, made some breakfast, and kissed him goodbye. He seemed very glad to see me, as though he knew I had been gone for a few days.

At work, I started thinking… did the Queen inhabit my body for the past few days? What did she think of our small pied-a-terre in Texas? Was she disappointed that there weren’t any servants? I couldn’t wait to ask Jeff when he came home.

Wednesday, December 17, 9:30 PM

Apparently, that’s exactly what happened. Jeff was a bit surprised when “I” spoke of servants and vacations in various parts of the world. He was even more surprised when I came home with matching handbags to match every outfit. I hope it wasn’t too disconcerting for him – I’m sure that Liz tried his patience at times. I asked him if I had been to work the past few days and he said, of course you have, but they didn’t quite know what to make of you. My boss felt that I was ill and sent me home early. He said that he had cursed on Monday and I got quite upset with him, and that I didn’t always answer when he called me by name. He really must think I’ve been in a Xanax-induced trance or something. I told him that everything was back to normal now.

I hope that her Majesty had a good time knowing how the common folk live, because I had a great time as a royal presence. I just hope that I didn’t do any long-term damage to the Queen. I hope she likes her new hair-do. She didn’t do much for mine, I’ll tell you that.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

President Obama!

I had some grandiose plans to work on homework, but who was I kidding? I wanted to stay glued to the Internet (since we don't have TV) to see the returns. It's all over now but the shouting. I can't predict what kind of President that Barack Obama will be, but I am more optimistic now than I have been in a very long time. I'm touched that not only was I able to witness this historic election take place, but so many African-Americans who may have thought they would never see an African-American taking the oath of office. I'm kicking myself for missing Obama's victory speech, but I did get to read the transcript and it was very moving. I'll be scouring the Internet tomorrow to get a full clip of it. John McCain's concession speech was very dignified and gracious.

But this goes far beyond the issue of race. I may be going out on a limb, but I see Barack Obama as slightly similar to JFK. He's a dashing, charismatic man coming in after eight years of Republican majorities, and he's five years older than JFK was when he took office. Obama will be facing much worse struggles than JFK faced. The economy is wobbly, to say the least, we have two wars going on, and there are so many other issues that if I were to write them out, I'd be too depressed to go to sleep. He'll have to step in and immediately wade into the shark tank, I think, and try to get the country back on its feet.

The evening isn't all good news. Gay marriage bans made it into the constitutions of Arizona, Florida, and Arkansas, and I just saw that the LA Times is reporting that with 46% of the polls reporting, Proposition 8 looks like it might very well pass in California. The Prop 8 fight in California turned especially vicious, since the 'Yes for Prop 8' group spent almost $80 million (!!!) in this campaign. The Mormons invested $22 million dollars alone. I just don't get it. How does gay marriage threaten the so-called sanctity of traditional marriage? Aren't divorce rates well over 50%? I'm disappointed, but I'm not defeated. Crazy amendments can be written into Constitutions, but they can be taken out or replaced with something else. It has happened before and it can happen again. It may be 20 or 30 years from now, but I think it will ultimately happen and people will wonder what all the fuss was about. It may be my antidepressants talking, but I think there is still reason to be optimistic about this issue. And on a purely monetary note... how much good could have been done with that $80 million dollars?

Saturday, November 1, 2008

In a Hairspray kind of mood...





I loved the original John Waters movie "Hairspray" and I loved the recent version of the stage musical. However, I've found some delightful clips from one of the Broadway productions. These clips don't star Harvey Fierstein as Edna. I believe it's Blake Hammond playing Edna, and I think the clips are a scream. The top clip is "You're Timeless to Me", which is Edna and Wilbur's love song, and the bottom one is the more famous "You Can't Stop the Beat."

Better late than never!

OK, here's the only picture I could find of me when I dressed up as a nun several years ago. Here's Sister Mary Scott, ready to rid the world of evil! This was probably taken about 6 years ago.

I hope everyone had a safe and happy Halloween!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Gotta Vote!

I don't touch on politics much in this blog because I really don't consider myself much of a political person, but we are getting close to a very historic election. One can get dizzy trying to keep up with the polls, but it really doesn't matter much right now. Next Tuesday, we'll all be watching anxiously to see how everything will turn out. I voted for the Obama/Biden ticket. I consider myself a middle-ground Democrat who leans a bit to the left, but I couldn't with any kind of good conscience vote for McCain/Palin. Not after what we've gone through for the last eight years. Besides, I think I would be doing my gay sisters and brothers (and myself) a disservice by voting Republican. Why would I support a party who made gay marriage an election hot-button issue? It's not the case this time around, since the economy is in the toilet, but gay marriage is an issue in many state elections next week. Propositions to put same-sex marriage bans into state constitutions are on the ballot in California, Florida, and Arizona. So if you're in one of these key states, please, please, please be sure to vote against the amendment to put same-sex marriage bans into the state constitution. That wretched amendment passed here in Texas and I'm still sick about it.

So, be sure to get out the vote next week! :-)

Catching Up

I feel like it has been forever since I really sat down and wrote a blog post, but I don't have a lot of time. This is shaping up to be a very busy week. Both college classes are kicking a bit into overdrive with projects and assignments. In my Instructional Design class, we were just given our second project, which is due at the very end of the semester. My group is focusing on a dynamic website for the Learning and Technologies department. We have to do a full design document and we have to deliver a prototype. Our group will be meeting weekly to get this project completed, and I think I was elected one of the co-project leaders. In my other class (New Technologies), I have my first draft of my paper due on Sunday night for peer review. It's not ultimately due until the end of the semester, but we're doing it in stages so we can all collaborate on our final projects.

Work has been hectic too, so with the additional work of school, bringing work home isn't really much of an option. Today, I made final edits to some online work that one of our contractors is designing for us. I should be finished with those edits tomorrow afternoon. I also recorded some scratch audio to go with the courses to time the animations properly. I wanted a break from that, so I spent some time cleaning up the company's Wiki, which our group maintains. It's not being used much right now, but we hope it will grow into an information sharing vehicle for our stores. I cleared off some old pages that were outdated. Finally, I ran some reports at the request of one of our department managers and our director. I built one of the reports before leaving for the night and sent it to the department manager by email so she can review it tomorrow. Tomorrow morning, we're also seeing a demonstration by our vendor for an upgrade to our Learning Management System. I expect this demo to take most of the day. Hopefully it won't put me to sleep. If I'm in a meeting (especially a long one) where I just sit and watch or listen and I'm not actively contributing, I tend to get sleepy. :)

Mom called me last week to ask what Jeff wanted for Christmas. She's been doing gift cards the last several years because it's easier for us all to go get what we want. I had to keep at Jeff all weekend to see what he wanted, and I finally had to level the ultimate threat. If he didn't come up with something by Monday night, Mom was going to buy him underwear and socks. Tighty-whities and tube socks, no less. Needless to say, he came up with something. :-) I had no trouble telling her what I wanted. I can always think of something I'd like to have. I consider that a service to anyone who wants to buy me a gift. But I'm generally thrilled with whatever I get.

I've discovered something quite interesting: Second Life. It has gotten a lot of media attention and it's even being used for educational purposes. In Second Life, you can design your own character and build your own alternative life. If you are normally conservative in your everyday life, you can use your Second Life to be hedonistic and wild. You can dance all night in Second Life and never get tired or have sore feet. Second Life is a totally immersive multimedia experience with music, ambient sounds, and gorgeous imagery. One of my class assignments was to go to certain places in Second Life and record my impressions. The first place (or SLURL, as it is known in Second Life) was a gorgeous art sanctuary with cherry blossom trees, rustic bridges spanning bubbling streams, castles, and artwork everywhere. At first, Second Life is a sensory overload. You're exhausted after just a few minutes; it's just too much, especially with the 3-D perspective. Eventually, you get used to it. I've found Second Life fascinating and I find myself checking in every night. I've met some friends there and we hang out and talk. There are no strings attached and no games to play -- you can be completely yourself, because you're as anonymous as you want to be. You can have relationships with people in Second Life. I've spoken with people who were happily married in their real life, but carrying on with total heedlessness with anyone who has a sexy avatar in Second Life.

This weekend, Jeff and I will be hunkering down with papers. Next weekend, I should have more time to devote to Francie's website, since the early draft would have already been submitted for review. Last weekend, I didn't leave the house except to go do my early voting and run Pearlie May through the car wash.

On a final note (I have to get back to homework), I have outstanding news. Cristy and her family are coming home for Thanksgiving!!! It has been so long since I've seen Cristy, so it will be sheer delight to play catch-up and see her kids again. I haven't met Abigail yet, and Zach and Hannah were much younger when I last saw them. We may go out to Mary and Jesse's place in Sunset for fun and games. They will be leaving on 11/23. I am relieved of turkey duty this year and I don't have to cook nearly as much, so I'll have more time for fun when I'm off work that week.

I hope everyone has a great week! :-)

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Cleaning to Stripper Music

About a year ago, I astounded Jeff and our friends by purchasing a CD of old stripper music. You know, the music from the 60s that sounds like it was played in the old burlesque houses? Lots of trombones, saxophones, and bass drums, with a beat that you can help but bump and grind to? I've discovered that you can have a heck of a lot of fun cleaning house to stripper music. You're not disrobing (well, I guess you can, but I typically don't) but you're just bumping and grinding as you dust and straighten. It even makes folding towels fun. Here's a link to the CD on Amazon. It's based on a novelty album of the 1960s called How to Strip for your Husband. I haven't checked yet to see if it's available on iTunes.

Bah-bah-BUMP-bah-bah-BUMP-bah-bah-BUMP-BUMP-BUMP! :-)

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Something to think about



I had a classmate post a link to this YouTube video for a class discussion. It does give one something to think about. Enjoy!

More State Fair Pics

Pictures of our department at the State Fair! If the weather had been nicer, I probably would have captured more shots than I did.
Ana and I checking out the sand sculptures.
Group shot of our department. Clockwise from upper left: Ana, Kitna, Fran, Dawn, and Glenna. I took this as soon as I arrived at the State Fair. We met outside the Cotton Bowl.

Kitna and Glenna enjoying a fried chocolate strawberry waffle ball.

Scott shows his showgirl roots on the steps of the Hall of State. If I hadn't been so tired, I could have done a higher kick. Really, I can.

This is Glenna, our director. She was showing us where she got married.
The famous Texas Star ferris wheel. I haven't been talked into riding it yet.

The famous Cotton Bowl.
A happy sight indeed... Pearl waiting patiently to take me home. I was pooped!


Big Tex Speaks!


We happened to be near Big Tex when he started speaking, so I switched over to video mode and captured a short video clip. I missed his opening spiel, "Howdy, ya'll! This is Big Tex." But I did get his hints on being sanitary at the State Fair.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Scott in a Saab

Rainy Days and Wednesdays

On Wednesday, our department went to the State Fair of Texas. We hoped against hope that the rain would stay away, but it rained most of the day. That didn't stop us -- we had a good time anyway. Fortunately, we had nice cool weather all day, even if we were dashing in and out of the rain. I got to pet Elsie the cow, eat a fried Hostess Sno Ball, view sand sculptures, marvel at the auto show, and see Big Tex. When you get right down to it, Big Tex is a bit creepy. I captured him on video, but I'll upload it later. Most of the rides were closed, but I'm not much of a ride person anyway. The atmosphere was fun. I saw some terrific crafts (including some gorgeous needlepoint work) and a butter sculpture commemorating the King Tut exhibit at the Dallas Museum of Art. I met our group at the fair around 10:00 and we left around 3:30 so we could beat rush hour traffic. I missed the bird show, but I did see an interesting exhibit by the Mexican Historical society about the history of Mexican culture in Dallas. Many of the old neighborhoods are disappearing, and a project is underway to gather information about these old neighborhoods and preserve them for posterity. Right now, so much of it is not written down -- the stories are passed down orally -- and there's a danger of it just disappearing. Jeff was relieved that I didn't come home all fired up about the new cars I saw at the fair. The only one that I was really excited about was a Saab 9-3 convertible. I could really see myself driving that car. Maybe if I find a spare $40K lying around and I don't have to pay off any debts, I'll get one for myself someday. My boss took a picture of me behind the wheel, so at least I can prove that I sat in one.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Country-Fried Wisdom

Aren't you lucky, gentle readers? I've making a second blog post in the same night. This one has been rolling around in my wacky head all day.

How many of you grew up with parents, grandparents, or other relatives who uttered odd, almost nonsensical sayings that seem to only exist in the South? I've told someone that I would see them tomorrow, and they replied "Lord willing and the creek don't rise." Well, hopefully the Lord is willing and the creek doesn't rise, or it could be a mighty mess. My mom had a whole slew of them. "Why, I won't put up with that until the water gets hot" was a signal to us that we had better stop whatever it was we were doing, because it doesn't take water long to get hot. Hopefully that didn't mean she would throw it on us if we didn't stop. And if she was warning us about getting in big trouble, she would tell us that if we didn't stop whatever it was we were doing, it would be "too wet to plow." My reasoning was: why don't you just do the plowing tomorrow? Or another day when it's nice and sunny? And my personal favorite was, "Well, that did you about as much good as a fart in a whirlwind." I didn't say that country sayings were always elegant, did I?

Now, any Southern child knows that logic and country sayings like this can never coexist, and that you had to pick wise moments to question their meaning. If you questioned the saying at the wrong time, it was indeed too wet to plow. It was best to try and understand their meaning and hope you were doing the right thing.

My dear friend Mary (Cristy's mom) had a whole slew of them as well, but my favorite phrase to end all phrases is, "I'm happier than a dead hog in the sunshine." Inevitably, the follow-up comment to that phrase is "And it just doesn't get any happier than that." I have used that phrase at work and the person on the receiving end always gives the same quizzical -- but amused -- look, and they never ask me to explain it. Which is a good thing, because I really couldn't. Another good thing is that this phrase is absolutely guaranteed to bring a conversation to a stop.

Is it cold outside? Yes, it's colder than a "witch's teat in a brass brassiere." Now, that's cold.

Are you busy? Yes, you're busier than "a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest" or a "one-armed paper hanger."

Are you sweating a lot? Yes, you're sweating "more than a hooker in church."

Sometimes, the phrases are not only bizarre, but they wouldn't pass muster as being politically correct in today's parlance. For instance, my grandmother would avoid eating too much cheese or she would be "constipated as a Jew." I never understood that phrase and really didn't try to wrap my mind around it too much. Instead, I just wrote it off as part of Mamaw's eccentricity. I guess it's the old prejudice about Jewish people being tight with money or something like that, but I've known plenty of tight Baptists. In fact, they were so tight they could "squeeze a nickel until the buffalo pooped" or they could "squeeze a penny until Lincoln screamed."

And don't you just love the name Mamaw? She was Mamaw to everyone, including the kids at church. She was truly something. I'll devote a blog post to her later. Cristy also had a Mamaw, and I loved her too. Mamaws are usually on the feisty side. They can snap out a wisecrack just as easily as they can snap peas in a pan. But I'm digressing a bit here.

I think we have these phrases because of the southern love of language. In the South, talking is an art form. Anyone can say that a person is handsome or pretty, but in the South, you're as "pretty as a dewdrop on a morning glory." Actually, I just made that up, but surely you get my point.

What kind of country phrases did you hear growing up? Please, discuss amongst yourselves.

Exciting News

Following the instructions provided in my summons for jury duty, I logged into the website and saw these wonderful words:

Your jury duty reporting date has been cancelled. You are not required to report on Tuesday, October 14 and no longer need to check this message. You may be re-summoned to report on a new date.

So, I'm off the hook for this round of jury duty, although they could summon me later.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

I Christen Thee... Pearl!

OK, I've never done this, but due to the influence of my dear friend Karen, I have named my new car. Because Mitsubishi's name for the car's color is Kalapana Black Pearl, I shall call her Pearl! And when she's feeling saucy, her name will be Pearlie May, after Pearl Bailey. Everyone, say hello to Pearl, and treat her with her due respect. Or she might just get slappy. The original Pearl car was Karen's Kia Optima, which was a lovely White Pearl color, and I hope my Pearl can live up to the name. She's a lovely car and I'm enjoying driving her back and forth to work.

It's been a quiet weekend. Mom and Dad were more on the go than I was. They went to a concert in Shreveport, LA on Friday (I think it was a Bill Gaither concert, but I'm not sure) and then to a family reunion on Saturday. I'm always a bit undecided about going to the family reunion. Sometimes I think I can go, but then I find a reason not to go, and then I regret not going. So, I think that next year, I'm just going to go unless something like an actual exam or a paper keeps me from doing it. Mom said they had a great time. From Lewisville, it's not a long drive at all to New Boston -- just about 2.5 hours -- and Saturday traffic is generally manageable in Dallas.

Our department is going to the State Fair on Wednesday. I'm going to meet them there instead of driving all over the Metroplex. Several of us are doing the same thing. The State Fair is still a new experience for me. Jeff went often when he was growing up, so it doesn't offer the same thrill for him as it does for me. We never went as kids -- it was just too far to drive -- and I like the atmosphere there. I'll ride the little fair standbys such as the Tilt-a-Whirl and the Scrambler, but I do not like heights, so I won't get on the huge Ferris Wheel. If I take three cans of food, I can get into the fair for $1.

Yikes! It's time for bed. But I'll share some interesting sites that I've just come across. Both of them are great for strolling down memory lane.

Take care!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Sleepy Weather and Halloween

We're in that wonderful time of year when the air is just a bit cooler. Fall is in the air and I've been incredibly sleepy. Maybe there's something else in the air that we just don't know about yet. I've been nodding off at work and at home, so I'm not exactly sure what the problem is. We were watching The Simpsons tonight and I conked out for nearly half an hour. It is starting to get dark earlier, so maybe it's just a natural reaction. That's the story I'm going with, anyway.

Jeff's mom is coming out next weekend to spend some time with us. Jeff's stepdad did some minor renovations in her bathroom and she's not entirely pleased with the result, so Jeff's going to go out there and help assess the situation. They have put their heads together and come up with a plan that is complex and full of twists and turns (including a trip out to IKEA) but Jeff is trying to find the simplest and shortest distance between the two points. It will be good to see Shirley and I'm glad she's going to spend some time with us. I've been very fortunate with my mother-in-law. Jeff likes to tease her and say that I'm her favorite daughter-in-law. She used to get mildly offended by that, but now she just giggles. She's still not thrilled that Jeff and I are gay, but she's getting more used to it as time goes by. We'll be together nine years next March. Jeff has actually put up with me that long. :-)

We've been invited to a Halloween party, and this one is a costume party. We used to dress up for Halloween at work. For some reason, I liked going as a nun. There are a few pictures of me dressed up as "Sister Mary Scott" but we don't dress up at work anymore. I'm thinking something with fangs and a big wig could be fun. I think costumes should be fun, yet simple. I'll probably leave work a bit early, come home and pick up Jeff, and then drive back over to Fort Worth for the party. It should be fun. Maybe we can go out to my parents' house first for trick-or-treating and surprise them.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Late night and crazy musings

OK, it's almost 3:00 AM and I'm still up posting homework. Now, this is completely all my fault. I waited until the last minute and underestimated the amount of work to be done. I'm essentially through for the night, since I need to get some sleep for work, but I'm having difficulty uploading my materials. We were supposed to share the materials via our blogs, but Blogger doesn't support attachments. So, I'm waiting for WordPress to generate a confirmation email (and for that email to arrive at Gmail) so I can set up a third blog for handling attachments.

Jeff went to the grocery store today and apparently, today was the Day of the Snoots at Super Target. He witnessed an interesting altercation between two shoppers. One of them was moving down an aisle towards the main aisle, and the other shopper was moving down the main aisle. I should add that the shopper on the main aisle was engrossed in a cellphone conversation. She then blocked the aisle so the other shopper couldn't get out. When the shopper said, "Excuse me. Could you move your cart?" The shopper on the phone stuck up a hand and stepped away, still engrossed in her phone call. The other shopper, taken aback by this rudeness, stepped back and then slammed her cart into the other shopper's cart. She didn't just move the other woman's cart; she slammed it. The other shopper on the phone didn't respond, since she was still engrossed in her animated cellphone conversation, but Jeff was highly amused.

It was also the Day of the Nitwits, since he saw a woman going hell bent for leather towards the exit doors, not realizing that she wasn't going towards the automatic doors. She collided with the doors, much to the amusement of a teenager who happened to be watching. The woman turned and glared at the teenager, who responded, "I'm not laughing at you; I'm laughing with you." The woman retorted coldly, "I'm not laughing." The teenager replied, "Well, then, I guess I'm laughing at you!"

How come these things never happen when I'm at the store? I'll have to start going with Jeff so I can witness these frivolities first-hand.