Watching the video of Meredith Baxter coming out to Matt Lauer on the Today show made me think back to when I discovered I was gay. Really gay.
I was about 22, I think, and while I had been around sexually for a short time, I couldn't just admit to myself that I was gay. Part of it was shyness and part of it was a conflict with my upbringing. I grew up in the Southern Baptist church and had always been taught that homosexuality was just wrong and one of the most abominable of sins, so I really had a difficult time reconciling what I had grown up with and the dilemma I faced at that time. For anyone who is gay and who has come out, this isn't anything new. And even though I hadn't gone to church in a short while, I still felt strong ties to church, particularly when it came to the big stuff. But I finally had a true heart-to-heart with myself and did some soul searching. Ultimately, I came to believe (and still do) that God would want me to find love and happiness during my lifetime, and that romantic love and happiness would most likely be found with another man.
Speaking of church.... Eventually, my mom outed me to her entire church, and I felt comfortable attending a wedding recently with my sweet Robert. Everyone knew who he was, and he was treated well and made to feel welcome. We even held hands in the back pew!
I had been on dates with women, and while they were generally pleasant, they were awkward and uncomfortable in many respects. I never got beyond a good night kiss. But when I first went out with a guy, everything snapped into focus. I knew that this was how it was supposed to be. It felt truly right for the first time. After that point, I only went out with guys. A gay co-worker took me to my first gay club, and I made out with a gorgeous guy directly under a spotlight.
Cristy was the first friend I told. She knew, but waited patiently for me to tell her, and she was very happy for me. I had met my first boyfriend (we dated for an amazing two weeks during my senior year of college) and I include him on my dating resume because he was a really cute guy and he was the first guy who told me he loved me. And shortly after graduating, I met my first partner, and we were together for almost seven years.
I can't speak for Meredith Baxter, but I'm sure she feels like an extraordinary weight has been lifted. She made a late discovery about her homosexuality, but as individuals, we're all on different wavelengths and timetables, and late discoveries are not uncommon. The main thing is that she did come to terms with that aspect of herself. I'm glad that she has come out and I'm glad to see that she seems extremely happy.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
A Night at the Opera
I'm fooling you with this post. Opera as an art form is lovely; I have yet to attend one, but I plan to do so one day. But this post focuses on the Opera web browser. Opera has been around for a while. It is used in a mini-format on many smartphones. I hate Internet Explorer. I use it at work only under duress. It takes forever to load (both on startup and loading web pages) and as is the case with most computer users, I prefer browsers to load quickly, particularly when I'm paying for DSL. I've been using Google Chrome a lot, but it has been behaving oddly lately. I downloaded Opera, and off I went. The pages load quickly, and the browser has a minimum of toolbars to maximize screen space. I'd recommend Opera if you haven't checked it out. There may be some websites that don't work well with Opera, just as there are those that don't work well with Firefox or Chrome or Safari.
Life in Fab-Euless!
Can I just say this? I'm loving the new place. Karen and I are having a high old time in Fab-Euless. I can't claim credit for the pun on Euless, the charming burg where I now reside. There's a sign posted outside the rental office that proclaims that the apartment complex won an award from some city commerce office about best landscaping or something like that. But they used the word Fab-Euless and it has stuck. Before moving here, I was familiar only with the less-fresh parts of Euless, but I've discovered that I'm in a quite lovely area of town. We're in the Bear Creek area where there are lots of parks and lots of beautiful TREES. And the best part of all: my work commute has been cut in half!
One thing that I'm working hard on is getting my finances under control. When I was with my ex, he did the finances because he seemed to manage that better than I did. However, when I moved here and started adding up credit card balances and payments, I noticed the total was stratospheric. There was no way I'd be able to make those payments. I really didn't have a good grasp on what my financial picture was like, and I can't blame Jeff for that. What happened, I think, is that we went from a dual-income couple to a single-income couple, and we didn't make the necessary adjustments. And I didn't know what the hell was going on. But I can't cry over that now; it would be pointless. The problem has to be fixed. And I've taken definite steps to do that. I'm taking charge of my life again, and I feel empowered. Jeff was very controlling in many ways, and I should have spoken up, put my foot down, or whatever so the insanity could have been brought to a halt.
Fortunately, I'm surrounded by people now who value living a simpler life. My roommate Karen has been living on a tight budget for years and can squeeze a nickel until the buffalo poops, as the saying goes. My parents have lived simply for years and therefore they were able to adjust to their retirement and reduced income with little or no drama. Life just continues for them and they are better off than many others. And finally, my sweet love Robert has shown me how it doesn't matter what we do or where we go, we're doing okay as long as we can spend time together and enjoy loving each other. Would he rather go to a trendy restaurant and spend $150 on dinner or eat at a local favorite for $20? The local favorite would probably win unless it's a special occasion and we have the money. Karen and I buy our groceries at SuperTarget or a SuperWalmart because, quite simply, we can get the items cheaper. We also supplement our purchases at stores like Dollar Tree and Dollar General. And I'm really thinking hard about every dollar I spend and asking myself if I really need to spend the money and if I'm spending it the best way I can. Why spend $6 for a toilet brush when I can get one for a dollar?
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Final Lewisville Days
Today is September 8. Do you know what this means? Before you say, "Well, Scott, it generally means that it's not quite September 9 but no longer September 7," I will throw another date into the discussion. September 26. That is the date that I am scheduled to move from Lewisville to Euless. Sheesh, there's a lot to do between now and then. I have moved many times over the years, and one thing is consistent: it's never, ever fun. I need to lay my hands on some boxes to start the packing process. I found a place online where I can get about a good set of boxes for about $80. Fortunately, I'm not moving an entire apartment. I do have the movers set up. I've never used them before, but they had some good Google ratings, so I'm crossing my fingers and hoping for the best. For the first time, I'm paying hourly rates for movers. Usually I do one of those 'move by the piece' jobs. My move is costing me about $277, before gratuities. That's really not bad at all for a three-hour move. And it shouldn't take them three hours to move me from a ground floor apartment in Lewisville to one in Euless that is less than thirty minutes away.
It is odd to think that in just a few weeks, I will no longer be driving to and from Lewisville. This will cut my work commute in half. I am happy that Karen and I found a place that is still centrally located so we can get just about anywhere fairly quickly. It's close to the airport, but after growing up in White Settlement, plane noise doesn't bother me anymore. I've been driving back and forth from Lewisville for just over five years now, so getting home in 30 minutes (or less, usually) will be a real treat.
Maybe I'll have an extra 30-60 minutes for blog entries! :)
Monday, August 10, 2009
Health Care - What's Going To Happen?
Gosh, I wish I knew.
I heard a story on the McNeil-Lehrer news hour tonight on the way home where senior citizens were being told that they all were going to be visited by representatives of the government to be asked how they wanted to die. Now, to me, this sounds like undiluted horsepoop for several reasons. First, how would the government have so many representatives to fulfill this task. Second, would the same rule that we have to abide by when talking to government representatives (ask three times and see if you get the same answer) apply in reverse? And third, it's just plain ridiculous.
One of the stories I've heard floating around is that you should get more input in how you want your long-term care to be managed if you have a terminal illness. If that's a true story, I think it's a good idea. Because I would want hospice care. My grandmother suffered a stroke in 2003, and when it was determined that she would not be getting any better, she was transferred to a hospice facility (this one was inside Baylor-All Saints Fort Worth) where she (and my family) received wonderful care during a very difficult time. It barely seemed like a hospital at all, and the nurses were there to make sure that not only was my grandmother able to face her final days with as little discomfort as possible, but that my family had the support necessary to deal with this impending loss. I wouldn't want to spend the rest of my days on life support.
At one time, I thought that socialized medicine would be the way to go, but now I don't think it's the best option. I've heard reports from other countries where government-run health care doesn't necessarily equal quality health care for all.
Can they identify why the health care costs keep rising here and why it is so hard for so many adults and families to afford even basic health care coverage? My brother, for instance, works full time at his job in retail. I'm not sure what he makes now, but I know it's a struggle for him sometimes, and retail jobs do not like you to work overtime. He is having to really look at the coverage offered and the costs involved to see if it's something he can afford, because the coverage is very expensive and would take a big chunk out of his hourly wage. Fortunately, Shane is only 36 and is healthy, but I know he wants to have some kind of health coverage. We all want him to do this. Part of the issue is that his company is not such a large employer that they can command such low benefits for their employees. Small businesses -- at least, the ones that offer benefits -- really struggle to provide this for their employees.
One of my Facebook friends posted some thoughts about letting the free market help contain costs. Sounds like an interesting idea. The power of choice is mighty. In today's economy, so many businesses are struggling because there's so much competition for the reduced amount of dollars floating around. Would insurance companies be fighting to hang on to their customer base? And for that matter, would doctors?
I heard a story on the McNeil-Lehrer news hour tonight on the way home where senior citizens were being told that they all were going to be visited by representatives of the government to be asked how they wanted to die. Now, to me, this sounds like undiluted horsepoop for several reasons. First, how would the government have so many representatives to fulfill this task. Second, would the same rule that we have to abide by when talking to government representatives (ask three times and see if you get the same answer) apply in reverse? And third, it's just plain ridiculous.
One of the stories I've heard floating around is that you should get more input in how you want your long-term care to be managed if you have a terminal illness. If that's a true story, I think it's a good idea. Because I would want hospice care. My grandmother suffered a stroke in 2003, and when it was determined that she would not be getting any better, she was transferred to a hospice facility (this one was inside Baylor-All Saints Fort Worth) where she (and my family) received wonderful care during a very difficult time. It barely seemed like a hospital at all, and the nurses were there to make sure that not only was my grandmother able to face her final days with as little discomfort as possible, but that my family had the support necessary to deal with this impending loss. I wouldn't want to spend the rest of my days on life support.
At one time, I thought that socialized medicine would be the way to go, but now I don't think it's the best option. I've heard reports from other countries where government-run health care doesn't necessarily equal quality health care for all.
Can they identify why the health care costs keep rising here and why it is so hard for so many adults and families to afford even basic health care coverage? My brother, for instance, works full time at his job in retail. I'm not sure what he makes now, but I know it's a struggle for him sometimes, and retail jobs do not like you to work overtime. He is having to really look at the coverage offered and the costs involved to see if it's something he can afford, because the coverage is very expensive and would take a big chunk out of his hourly wage. Fortunately, Shane is only 36 and is healthy, but I know he wants to have some kind of health coverage. We all want him to do this. Part of the issue is that his company is not such a large employer that they can command such low benefits for their employees. Small businesses -- at least, the ones that offer benefits -- really struggle to provide this for their employees.
One of my Facebook friends posted some thoughts about letting the free market help contain costs. Sounds like an interesting idea. The power of choice is mighty. In today's economy, so many businesses are struggling because there's so much competition for the reduced amount of dollars floating around. Would insurance companies be fighting to hang on to their customer base? And for that matter, would doctors?
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Becoming a Eulessite?
This weekend, Karen and I went looking at apartments, and we stumbled across a very nice complex in Euless. Previously, I had never really given Euless a sustained thought. I drive through it every day on the way to work, and I remember the old Hiney Wine commercials from the early 80s. Hiney Wine was supposed to have been, um, bottled in Euless. At least, that's what I recall from the radio commercials. But come September, unless something goes awry in the application process, I will move to Euless and bid adieu to Lewisville. Fortunately, this complex is right at 360 & 183, so it should be an easy drive for me to get to Garland to spend time with Robert. And it should cut my work commute in half.
Update: The application was approved. We take possession of the apartment on 9/26. :)
Update: The application was approved. We take possession of the apartment on 9/26. :)
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