The Late, Great Beatrice Arthur

Today is a sad day. We lost a tremendous talent. Beatrice Arthur passed away today from cancer, according to an AP news story. She was 86. I have always adored Bea Arthur. I used to make the joke that if "Bea Arthur didn't sing it, it's not on my iPod." Of course, that was just a slightly facetious allusion to my fondness for show tunes and standards. But while Bea Arthur did make many notable stage appearances, including the original productions of Threepenny Opera, Fiddler on the Roof, and Mame, most of us know her today from one of her groundbreaking television sitcoms. She will always be known as Maude Finlay on Norman Lear's Maude and as Dorothy Zbornak (later Hollingsworth) on Susan Harris's The Golden Girls. Did anyone have a greater facility with a one-liner, or have sharper comic timing than Beatrice Arthur?

Here are some YouTube clips I found.







What a talent!

Catching Up

I've been a bad blogger lately, as my friend Cristy will surely tell you. It's been difficult to sit down and write. My mind hasn't been in that mode lately. I've been caught up in a mad whirlwind of online dating. I've met some very interesting guys, most of whom were very nice, and I made it with some of them past the second or third date. I've got to remember that now is not the time to find myself a true boyfriend, since I'm still dealing with an awkward living situation here. I can't bring anyone over (Jeff has specifically asked me not to) and I think that's best. I mean, how insensitive would it be for me to bring a guy over and get intimate with him in the bed that I used to share with Jeff, while Jeff is still living in the house? Pretty damn insensitive, I'd say.

Not that Jeff and I have this sparkling, chummy relationship. He and I speak to each other only when absolutely necessary, and most of the time we pointedly ignore each other and stay out of each others' way. Personally, I think he could be a bit more cheerful, considering that I'm still supporting him, but maybe that's just me. I know this is not the best of situations by a long shot -- for either one of us -- so I'm trying to be patient and just not let things get to me here. Fortunately, I have my own room, which has really become a sanctuary for me. We've just got five months to go, so our goal is keep things civil, if not friendly.

So, I've met a few guys and I've struck some sparks here and there. I've met guys from all different career fields and walks of life, and their stories have been interesting, for the most part. Right now, I have about three guys who are possibilities. Each of these guys are different.

My preferred choice would be to just date (perhaps even exclusively) after a while, but I do not want to move in with someone right away. My lease is up in September and I have plans to move in with a friend. My friend Karen and I have pretty much decided that we're going to get a place together. I want to live in the Valley Ranch area. It's right off LBJ freeway and convenient to both Dallas and Fort Worth, and there is much to do there. I've never lived with a strictly platonic friend (except for Leah, and that doesn't really count since I was living with Jeff when she moved in), and I'm excited about it. Karen and I go way back. We met in 1994 or 1995 when she was with her long-term partner Gail and I was with my first boyfriend Steven, and we hit it off immediately. We were both with controlling, dominant partners and we clicked. When she and gail broke up in 2000, we reconnected. If I ever have a gay wedding, I'd like Karen to give me away since she's the gay friend I've known the longest. She and I get along very well, and in no time at all, we've got each other laughing hysterically. I'm excited, and so is Karen. We're already making plans and looking at the furniture each of us will bring into the apartment.

Work is a bit of a bear right now. We're being swamped with projects and we have such a small staff now. I'm certainly finding myself going to more meetings, and I invested in a dry-erase board to help me keep everything organized. We also use rapid-development tools like Articulate, which can do some pretty neat things with PowerPoint. (On a side note, PowerPoint 2007 is awesome!) I had two courses go out this week! Whew.

And that, gentle readers, is all I have to say for the night. I need to get into bed! Happy Thursday to all of you. Love, hugs, and decadent desserts! :)

The Fabulous Four: Massachusetts, Iowa, Vermont, and Connecticut

Two more states have legalized gay marriage: Iowa and Vermont. Vermont's state legislature overrode a governor's veto to pass the bill, while Iowa's Supreme Court decided that the ban on gay marriage was unconstitutional. While I am thrilled beyond words for these signs of progress in both states, I'm especially encouraged by the victory in Iowa. This brings us to four states who have approved gay marriage: Massachusetts, Iowa, Vermont, and Connecticut. According to the Associated Press, four other states (Maine, New York, New Jersey, and New Hampshire) have gay marriage bills in various stages of the legislative process.

For opponents of gay marriage, isn't it just a matter of time before it becomes a reality? It's not going to be tomorrow, and it's not going to be next year, but someday, it will come. I'm optimistic that I'll see it during my lifetime.

And while we're at it, forget about the Gay Agenda. Most gays couldn't tell you what the Gay Agenda was. I, for one, didn't receive that fax. Maybe the Gay Agenda was scrawled on a cocktail napkin or something, such as those wonderful MikWright napkins that say things like "I am woman, here me whore", and could be stuck to the heel of a Prada shoe. I do admit to being mildly concerned, since for all I know, I could have action items assigned to me that are obviously not getting done. I'd hate to lose my gay card. I get great discounts with it.

The gay marriage issue is hitting home in a big way. I carried my former partner on my medical insurance as a domestic partner, and he had some medical expenses that were covered. I was glad that we had the insurance, since he was a full-time college student who would have otherwise had no coverage. And let's face it --it's still pretty liberal in Texas for a Texas-based company to provide domestic partnership benefits, so RadioShack gets snaps for that. However, since the federal government does not officially recognize same-sex couples, neither does the IRS, so any claims paid on Jeff's behalf are considered additional taxable income for me.

Getting Close to the End

I discovered something interesting this week, gentle readers. This week was the first week of registration for the Summer and Fall terms, and I was disappointed to find that the final class I needed in my degree plan was already closed for the Fall term. Anyone who has gone to college knows how frustrating it is to watch and wait for that required class to finally appear on the class roster. However, it was being offered during the Summer term, so I grabbed it. I filled out my application for Summer Financial Aid (which consisted of telling UNT that I wanted it) and discovered another unpleasant truth. I had to take at least 4 graduate hours to receive the financial aid, and my class was only three hours. The only answer was to take another class. So now, I'll be taking six hours during the Summer term. I've avoided Summer classes as much as possible during school, but I figured I'd have to take some eventually. Minor bummer, but it has a happy ending. I double-checked my degree plan and it looks like I will have completed all of the hours necessary to graduate in August instead of December. 

I'm strongly considering starting another graduate program right afterwards, though. I've always been curious about the Library Science program at UNT. Training is one of the first things to be cut when businesses have to trim budgets, and I'd like to have another feather in my cap. So, I'll see if I can get into the program in the Fall. If not, maybe I'll wait for the Spring term. I checked with Glenna (my former director) and she suggested I go for it. My current degree and a Library Sciences degree actually fit together pretty well, since more and more technology is being utilized in libraries. 

Getting Raw

We all have our little quirks -- our little weirdities, if I may be so bold as to use a phrase out of the urban dictionary -- that make us individuals. Some of us like to sing in the shower, or clean the house to stripper music. This blog post is about the weird foods we like to eat. We all have them. Admit it. Some of you like that odd sandwich that you would make for yourself but never for anyone else. In the Janet Evanovich Plum series, Stephanie likes peanut butter and pickle sandwiches. I can't say that I have any desire to try that. However, I do like some of these culinary delights that could be construed by some as weird:

• Raw biscuit dough
• Mustard and pickle sandwiches (this is all I add to cheeseburgers)
• Scrambled egg and mayonnaise sandwich (add salt and pepper please)
• Black bean patties with a fried egg on top (don't judge - this is like a healthier Egg McMuffin)
• Club crackers dipped in Hidden Valley Ranch dressing (has to be the homemade stuff)
• Cream cheese right out of the package
• Lay's Potato Chips with dill pickle slices

These are just a few. I was inspired to write this and share my culinary secrets because tonight, I succumbed to my urge for raw biscuit dough. Jeff was making dessert and it had a topping made of crescent rolls. He made the topping and was going to throw away the rest. I snatched it out of his hand and gobbled it up, much to his astonishment. I was in heaven while he and Leah were backing slowly out of the kitchen. I love making monkey bread because I get to play with raw biscuit dough and occasionally treat myself to one of the wedges I've chopped up for the recipe. After all, I see that as the cook's prerogative. 

What are some of your food quirks? 

Splitting Up Possessions

Jeff seemed a bit on edge yesterday, but he finally came out with the reason why. He asked me if I would have time to go over the list of household possessions so we could split things up. I thought it was a bit soon, but September really isn't all that far away, so I agreed to go over the list with him. We spent a little over an hour going over all of the household possessions, many of which we had acquired during our relationship.

I'm glad we waited until now to do it, because we could keep our emotions out of it. I didn't have to get sentimental about the time we picked out those chairs or when he came across some gorgeous curtains or when we put together all of those bookshelves from IKEA. We could fairly dispassionately go down the list and split things up. All in all, I think it was amicable and fair. Each of us are going to be in pretty good shape when we go our separate ways.

The one thing that we could not really divide up fairly was the washer and dryer. It seems like we could (one takes the washer, the other takes the dryer, but they were bought as a matched set and in our peculiar gay minds, we wanted to leave them as a matched set) but in the end, I let him keep them. That's going to really be the only big expense I'll have. Jeff will have to get bedroom furniture, but I think that's his only big expense.

Otherwise, I'll have an entire apartment of furniture. Jeff's mom has the sofa I bought about ten years ago when my first long term relationship broke up, and it's still in excellent shape. She also has a tapestry chair of mine that was not only one of my favorites, but a favorite of everyone who has ever sat in it. If I had a dollar for every time I heard, "When you get rid of this chair, think of me," I could open up that Swiss bank account I've been thinking about. She no longer wants these items because Jeff and I have split up, so if I don't take them back, she'll either put them out at the curb or give them to charity. Frankly, I'd rather have them back, and to save the trouble of awkwardness with the rest of Jeff's family, I think she's going to bring them out to me. I'm getting the bedroom furniture, and Jeff's getting the more recent living room furniture we had picked out. I'm also getting all of our bathroom stuff (towels, accessories, etc.). As far as the kitchen goes, Jeff shared the pots and pans with me, so I will have to get just a set of dishes and cooking utensils. I will also have to get a vacuum cleaner.

Still, even though it was a pleasant conversation and it didn't get overly sentimental or sad, it is still the end of an era in some ways. I'm sure it will be more sad when the moving day finally comes. I don't know how often I'll see Jeff or Leah, but I hope we can stay in touch. I don't know if I'll be moving in with someone else (depends on what's going on with the dating situation) or moving into a place on my own, but either option will be fine. If I am moving on my own, I'm starting to think that I may not move back to Fort Worth after all. I may stay somewhere centrally located, such as the Valley Ranch area of Irving, where it's relatively easy to get to Fort Worth or Dallas.

Speaking of future events, I'm thinking about continuing my graduate studies after graduation. I'm going to look into Library Science. With the economy as it is, I think it would be prudent for me to add as many feathers to my cap as I can. I'd like to start the Library Science program in the Spring. That would give me two master's degrees. When corporate budgets get tight, one of the first things to go is the training department. There are not as many training jobs going around as they once were. Heck, there aren't as many jobs going around period. The job market here is extremely competitive. It's quite scary when you think about it. But there's no point in worrying about it until you have to.

First Wine Bar Adventure

Last night, I went to a great wine bar in Addison. It's called Mercy, which takes its name not from the quality we would (or should) like to have in ourselves, but from the Roy Orbison song Pretty Woman. I had never been to a wine bar before. Mercy has a great atmosphere. The place has very subdued lighting and dark woods and textures. It's quiet, so you can actually hear the person with whom you're sharing a bottle of wine. My date and I put away a bottle of Pinot Blanc that was just fantastic. I think I may switch my allegiance from Chardonnay. Fortunately, both of us preferred white wine to red. The service was wonderful, and the food was just delicious. I had chicken with pesto sauce, while he had penne with chicken.

I met Josh on Match.com. Our date went fairly well, but I'm not sure how to gauge it. It was a fairly quick date; we were together for about two and a half hours. It wasn't like my first online date where it seemed like we couldn't get away from each other quickly enough. He said that his face was hard to read, and he's right. After leaving Mercy, we went elsewhere for dessert, and we had good conversation along the way. He seemed very tired, and I hope that I wasn't boring him. There was a quick goodnight kiss that I initiated. So, it could be a true first date where things are going to build slowly. But the more I think about it, that was probably our only date. If he called now, I'd be surprised. I guess the chemistry just wasn't there in person like it had been on the phone or online. That happens.